when you suddenly find yourself “back” again…
when you thought that this cannot happen again, because you learned (and you learned the hard way). when you felt so sure you grew. when the pain is gone and the anxiety started to disappear slowly. when your insides are almost healed.
it all comes back. in different package, different face but with same tactics. all the words spoken, all the actions taken, all the situations lived seem so six years ago. it all comes together in an instant, all the pieces fall into one perfect picture. your insides shift, your heart sinks.
the only difference is that you noticed just in time - thanks to that six years ago, thanks to that inner fear that everyone lies about caring (because surprise! they do lie sometimes.)
lesson learned, bullshit firewall upgraded.
She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum.
"She felt everything too deeply, it was like the world was too much for her."